


What You Deserve

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 07:05:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8964751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry ;)





	

It was for the best.

Despite her waterfall of tears and the litany of curses that had left her mouth, Spencer was convinced that he had done the right thing. He wasn’t good enough for her. She was a world-famous neurosurgeon who was consistently on the brink of breakthroughs in the field. In addition, she came from a good family - a healthy one, one that wasn’t plagued with mental illness like his. And she was stunningly beautiful. People constantly looked at the two of them, secretly wondering what someone like him was doing with someone like her.

Even though, a year and a half later, he was still convinced he had done the right thing, he would never be able to get the image of her crying out of his head.

After he’d broken things off, they attempted to stay friends, and it had worked - for a while, but slowly they drifted apart to the point where they hadn’t seen each other in more than a year. When he got home from work, a day that was like any other, he went back outside, grabbing his mail from the mailbox.

He threw it on the counter and quickly downed a glass of water, when a light blue envelope caught his eye. It was from Y/N. When he opened the envelope, his heart sank. It read:

The honor of your presence is requested at a Dinner Party celebrating the engagement of Y/N and Jonathan on September 15th, 2017 at 5 p.m.

She was engaged. Why had she invited him? Despite the fact that they hadn’t spoken, did she still consider them friends? More importantly, could he go? Should he?

He took the invitation to the couch and plopped down, drowning in all of the feelings he thought he’d gotten passed. He still loved her...so much. It wasn’t about a lack of love, it was about the fact that she deserved perfection and he couldn’t give her that. He wanted to scream, cry, fall asleep and forget, but he couldn’t do anything but stay plastered to the couch.

As his eyelids began to close, he double-checked the date on the card. The party was a month away. He’d decide another day. For now, he was too tired to imagine what he was supposed to do or how he felt.  
\-------------------------

The four weeks between receiving the invite and Y/N’s engagement party went by in a flash. He had decided to go - if only to prove to her that they could remain friends. As he fixed his tie, he fought the urge to just stay home. He didn’t want to see her with another man; she deserved the world, but it wouldn’t be easy watching her with someone else - kissing someone else...touching someone else. Just the thought hurt.

But he forced himself into the car, fighting every urge to turn back and stuff his head into a pillow. When he arrived at the venue, he realized it was a country club, not a restaurant, that seemed very unlike her, but then again, maybe he didn’t know her anymore.

Reluctantly, he walked inside, hoping he was seeing someone else so he’d be in a better place, but alas, it wasn’t to be, and he was greeted by light blue and heather gray decorations and a plethora of flowers. There was a ridiculous amount of people in the venue and it made him very nervous, but the anxiety fell away and was replaced by sorrow, when the crowd parted, revealing Y/N.

She was wearing a light blue sundress and gray heels, looking effortlessly beautiful as she floated through the sea of people. Somehow though, she seemed tired - sad, despite the happy occasion and the smile on her face; it looked as if it was painted on. Suddenly, a tall, dark and handsome gentlemen with slicked back black hair clasped her on the shoulder. She turned around and kissed him on the cheek, before turning back to whoever she was talking to and continuing her conversation. 

For quite a while, Spencer just stood in the corner with a drink, silently observing the pair. He was attempting to figure out if what he saw was real, or was in his head because he still loved her. After about a half hour, Spencer wondered if he should just leave, but she turned and caught his eye, giving him a small wave and a smile before walking over and giving him a hug.

“Hi, Spence,” she said, the sweet sound of her voice traveling up his spine and lodging itself in his brain. “How’re you?”

“I’m good,” he lied, “Work is pretty hectic, but I love what I do. Jonathan is a lucky man.” He forced himself to say it, even though he wanted to jump across the room and throttle him.

“He’s a good guy,” she said, looking back toward him with a distorted smile. When he met her gaze, she shined the beautiful smile Spencer was accustomed to. “He’s a cardiovascular surgeon at the hospital.”

He was perfect for her. Good-looking, high-powered and important career - he was everything she deserved.

“I’m really happy for you,” Spencer lied again. It wasn’t a lie - he wanted her to be happy, he just wished he was happy too.

“Thanks,” she sighed quietly. “I’m really glad you could come.” She was being called in all different directions, so she excused herself with the promise to stop by and talk again before the night was over.

The following three hours went by quickly. Spencer’s feelings spiraled from happy for her, to sad for himself, to jealous of Jonathan and finally to the crux of the matter, he was still unbelievably in love with her; he wanted her back. Why was this happening to him. He shouldn’t have come.

Spencer wasn’t the home wrecking type, but when he saw Y/N excuse herself and sneak out the back door of the venue, he followed her. “Hey, Y/N,” he said, watching as she pulled out a cigarette. That was new.

“Oh hi, Spence,” she said. “I need a cigarette. Kind of a new thing. I know I shouldn’t.”

“Y/N...” he started, wondering how he was supposed to say this. “I-I’m...I’m still in love with you.”

She stared at him in seeming disbelief, her lip shaking slightly at the confession. Before opening her mouth to speak, she looked around, ensuring that no one was looking, but Spencer cut her off. “Last year, when I broke it off with you, I was convinced that I could never be the man that you deserved. And I come in here and I see Jonathan - good-looking and a pioneer in his field - and to me he’s who you fit with, but...” he hesitated. “But it took me until now to realize that I don’t care if he fits. He can’t possibly love you as much as I do. I don’t know what I’m expecting out of this, but I needed to say it...I’m sorry. I’ll go now.” 

He started to walk away when she ran after him, turning him around and pulling him into a searing kiss that practically melted him on the spot. “I-I...I haven’t stopped loving you, Spencer. I never did. You were always enough for me; you just didn’t believe me.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, distancing the space between them so no one would see. She looked back toward the venue and spoke again. “I meant what I said. Jonathan really is a good guy...but I don’t feel about him the way I do about you.” 

It was a good thing he’d distanced them, because seconds later Jonathan popped his head out of the door asking if she’d finished her cigarette yet. “Coming,” she said, turning back to Spencer, as the door shut behind her.

“Can I call you later?” she asked, feeling the pull to go back inside.

“Yea, sure,” he replied. “I’ll talk to you later, Y/N. Again...I’m sorry.”

She ran back inside, leaving him wondering what it all meant.

\-------------------------

About an hour later, Spencer was back home in his pajamas, stuck to the couch, wishing he’d never gone to Y/N’s engagement party. She was probably with him right now and hadn’t meant anything she’d said earlier.

Knock. Knock.

Spencer pulled open the door to see her standing there - her makeup messy and her hair falling out of the delicate up-do she’d had it in before. “I still love you, Spence. I broke it off with Jonathan.” A few moments of hesitation passed between them before Spencer pulled her into him, grasping her face in his hands as he wiped away her tears.

“I’m so sorry it took me so long to realize that I needed you. That I want you. That we were made for each other,” he breathed.

“Forget about it now. We’ll figure it out later,” she said, gently kissing his neck. “Just promise me you’ll never let go.”


End file.
